“It’s Okay, He’s Friendly” – Why This Phrase Causes Problems for Dog Owners

If you’ve ever taken your dog for a walk, chances are you’ve heard (or even said) the phrase:

“It’s okay, he’s friendly!”

It usually happens when a dog charges up to another dog at full speed, while the owner calls out reassurance from a distance. The problem? The approaching dog might be friendly, but the dog on the receiving end might not want to interact — and that’s where conflict begins.

Let’s break this down from both perspectives: the friendly dog who approaches and the dog who doesn’t want to be approached.

🎥 Prefer to watch instead of read? Click here to watch the full video on YouTube

The Friendly Dog Who Approaches

Many dogs simply want to say hello, but rushing into another dog’s space isn’t always welcome.

If your dog is one of these enthusiastic greeters, it can feel embarrassing when they ignore your recall. But the truth is, recall is a skill that needs consistent training.

For example, when I adopted Merlin at five years old, his recall was fantastic in most situations — but not around other dogs. He just had to gather information from them. To help him, I:

• Put him on a long line for safety.

• Re-trained recall from the very beginning.

• Changed the verbal cue I was using.

• Practiced recall in controlled environments before progressing to areas with other dogs.

With time, patience, and positive reinforcement, Merlin’s recall became reliable.

If your dog tends to rush up to others, it’s not about shame — it’s about training. A good recall means you can give your dog freedom while respecting the comfort of other dogs and owners.

The Dog Who Doesn’t Want to Be Approached

Not every dog wants canine company. Some are anxious, some are in training, and some simply don’t enjoy rough play.

Take my dog Kira as an example. As a puppy, she was happy to play with other dogs. But at one year old, she was poisoned and spent three days in the vet hospital. After that traumatic event, she developed a strong dislike for strange dogs.

Years of positive training have helped her improve, but she still doesn’t appreciate being swarmed by excitable dogs. If an off-lead dog rushes up, she may “school” them — something I work hard to prevent.

That’s why I:

• Keep a strong recall cue for her.

• Use the middle position (where she sits between my legs) to keep her secure.

• Politely ask other owners to put their dog on lead if needed.

Allowing my dog to punish others isn’t fair. It could make their dog fearful or reactive, and it puts Kira in a stressful situation too.

A Real-Life Example

Once, while walking Kira, a cockapoo circled and barked at her nonstop. I recalled her into the middle position, but the other dog kept charging around us.

When the owner arrived, instead of apologising, she asked: “Why isn’t your dog wearing a muzzle?”

I calmly replied: “Because I have control of her recall — she’s safe.”

The owner paused, thought about it, and admitted: “Oh… mine doesn’t have a recall.”

That moment turned into a friendly conversation. We walked off together, both dogs calm, and even shared some training tips.

Why Blame Doesn’t Help

It’s easy to get frustrated when someone shouts, “It’s okay, he’s friendly!” But snapping back or shaming people online rarely changes behaviour.

Think about it — when you’ve experienced road rage, did you walk away ready to listen to the other driver? Probably not. Dog owners are the same.

Instead, let’s use these situations as information:

• “It’s okay, he’s friendly” often means the owner has no recall control.

• At least you know their dog isn’t showing aggression.

• You can then calmly manage your own dog and move on.

Moving Forward

If you own a friendly charger, invest time in recall training.If you own a dog who dislikes approaches, practice management strategies and clear communication.

Together, we can make shared walking spaces enjoyable for everyone — not stressful battlegrounds.